Anxiety happens when something unexpected occurs and we focus entirely on the problem instead of how we choose to respond to it.

When an unexpected challenge hits, such as a market shift or a new competitor setting up shop down the road, our brains want to jump right to the worst case scenario.

In a previous Cohesion Corner™ with Dr. Troy newsletter titled "Stop Reacting: Start Leading the Calendar", I explained how waiting for external pressure to dictate timing always increases the cost of our choices. Acting out of panic forces us into rushed, defensive decisions. Cohesive leadership decisions cut through external noise and focus directly on internal execution.

I often talk about the importance of building environments where people feel seen, heard, and valued.

But what happens when someone on your team simply is not clicking with the organizational culture?

On yesterday's episode of the UH-OH Conversations with Cohesive Leaders podcast, guest Jay Poulton shared a defining moment from early in his career. He was hired into a high-stakes communications role, but despite his best efforts to please everyone, he struggled to connect with the fast-paced culture. After six months, he was let go.

It was a tough blow to his pride, especially with a young family to support. Looking back, Jay realized two vital truths:

1. Failing to fit a specific workplace culture does not mean you lack talent or worth.
2. Healing and growth begin when we move past surface-level transparency and step into true vulnerability with a trusted community.

Tune into the podcast on Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube.

When an employee is struggling with culture fit, our immediate reaction as leaders should never be to throw up our hands and reach for a pink slip. A cultural mismatch is a signal to slow down, lean in, and evaluate the situation with empathy and clarity.

When your organization grows to the point where they do not need your hands on every detail anymore, how do you feel?

For a lot of leaders, that moment brings a strange, uncomfortable sting. We spend years pouring our blood, sweat, and energy into building a department, a program, or an entire company.

We wear every hat.

We fix every problem.

We become the go-to person.

Then, the organization scales. New leaders step up. Systems get put into place. And suddenly, you find yourself sitting in meetings where your opinion is not being begged for, or projects moving forward without your direct stamp of approval.

That is where many leaders confuse their operational need with their personal worth.

"If I admit I can’t handle it all, it’s a career killer."

This is a thought many emerging leaders have.

We buy into the belief that the person at the top must be an all-knowing hero who can execute every task and pull down every boundary to keep things moving. We pile our plates high, pack our calendars, and proudly take on the badge of being busy.

But I want to challenge you with something I’ve shared before: being busy isn’t the same as moving forward.

When you fall into the "human doing" trap, success is measured strictly by how many boxes you checked rather than how much value you actually moved. If your calendar is managing you instead of you managing your calendar, you've walked straight into a significant professional UH-OH.

It's easy to mistake a fast-paced corporate march for a cohesive culture. We get so locked into hitting targets, crushing metrics, and demanding absolute competence from our teams that we lose sight of the human cost.

If you are driving the mission forward at the expense of the people executing it, you're building a pressure cooker... that's going to eventually explode.

What does true capability actually look like? It means building a culture where goals are achieved and the well-being of your workforce is fiercely protected. This is what it means to put connection before content. It’s a daily reminder that behind every metric is a real person with real limits. We dove deep into this specific tension in our latest podcast episode.

I can remember a time where a colleague or team member completely pushed back against my direction.

There was a conversation that I didn’t think went well and reached out to confirm if everything is okay. I didn’t hear back, so I waited. More time passed and still no reassurance things are fine.

Now, my mind goes crazy and makes up all sorts of storylines, none of which have a positive or happy ending.

When things go wrong or friction arises in the workplace, it is easy to jump to negative conclusions — take it personally, assume others are being difficult, or view it as an act of insubordination.

But what I learned was to pause and make a charitable assumption instead.

Many emerging leaders carry a hidden, dangerous belief:

If I admit I don’t know the answer, it’s a career killer.

We buy into the myth that the person at the top must be the all-knowing hero. So when a crisis hits, the temptation is to retreat into a cave, pull down the blinds, and try to fix the problem completely alone before anyone notices.

But pretending you have it all figured out is exactly what derails your growth. In fact, running into isolation is the quickest way to walk straight into a catastrophic business error.

Leadership is measured by the depth of our connections, not the bullet points on a resume.

Throughout my career, I’ve found that lasting professional bonds are never built on a zip code or the type of car someone drives. Instead, relationships flourish when we stop collecting surface-level data and start seeking the personal insights and passions that fuel a person’s spirit.

In our recent conversation on the UH-OH Conversations with Cohesive Leaders podcast with Eugene Manley, Jr., PhD, we saw the power of this approach in action. Eugene is a mechanical engineer and a PhD, but if Ben-Jamin Toy, HSG had stayed in the realm of curious questions, we would have only heard his professional credentials. By asking Intentional Questions—the need to know inquiries that spark self-discovery—Ben uncovered the true fuel behind his passion.