Ever watched someone sabotage their own leadership in real time? I have and it all comes down to a sneaky habit called side-mouthing.

I was reminded of it during a recent conversation with a guest on our UH-OH Conversations with Cohesive Leaders podcast (that episode drops in February 2026). Something our guest said snapped me right back to a story from Becoming a Cohesive Leader, and it’s one worth revisiting.

If you’ve never heard the phrase side-mouthing, don’t worry. You’ve definitely seen the behavior.

It’s what happens when someone gets so locked in on the negative that they lose the plot. They can’t see possibilities, opportunities, or solutions… they can only broadcast what’s wrong. And when that mindset takes over, they’re not contributing to the change. They’re fueling resistance.

Today’s podcast conversation centered on the same theme: Mindset is everything. If you don’t catch your negative thoughts early, the mental ANTs that crawl in, you end up amplifying the very thing you say you don’t want.

And that brings us to my story.

Burnout doesn’t hit like a lightning bolt. It sneaks in through the tiny overwhelming moments you’ve been powering through for way too long.

And the cost is bigger than most leaders realize. A 2025 study in The American Journal of Preventive Medicine found that burnout drains U.S. companies anywhere from $4,000 to $21,000 per employee each year, adding up to nearly $5 million annually for a 1,000-person organization.

In a mind-blowing example of what’s possible, a high-school student used AI to analyze NASA’s massive data sets and uncovered 1.5 million previously-unknown space objects. If AI can help map the invisible in the vastness of space, imagine what it can do for the invisible weight of burnout in your day-to-day work.

You don’t have to white-knuckle your way to the weekend anymore. AI is finally stepping up as the colleague who takes the busywork off your plate without eating your snacks from the break room.

"You need to act like the career you want, not the job you have."

That phrase came to mind when I was working with my friend and colleague Diane Abbonizioof United Bay Community Credit Union®. We were discussing a potential role play scenario for a leadership development program involving an employee who is frustrated because they weren’t seeing opportunities for advancement.

The problem wasn’t a lack of work ethic. They were busy all the time. The real question was: Busy doing what?

The Busy Trap

It’s easy to confuse activity with progress. Many people pride themselves on being busy — calendars full, inboxes overflowing, constantly putting out fires. It feels productive. It feels important.

But the truth is being busy isn’t the same as moving forward.

Some people are stuck in the Busy Trap, doing work that keeps them comfortable but not capable. They’re answering every email, jumping into every issue, and solving every problem… often the ones their team should be handling. It’s work that keeps them visible in the moment but invisible when opportunities for advancement come around.

October 15, 2025 is a day of double celebration and a defining moment for connection and culture.

🎉 First, we celebrate the inaugural Cohesion Culture™ Day, officially recognized by the state of South Carolina.

🎯 Second, we launch our newest book, The Cohesive Sales Approach, a fresh take on selling that puts connection before the close.

Both milestones share the same heartbeat: belonging, value, and mutual commitment.

My mom, FANNY, had a message that encouraged me to be more uplifting and optimistic.

"If you have to tear someone down to build yourself up, you aren't that blankety-blank good to begin with."

She didn’t use “blankety-blank,” nor did she use current lingo. Either way, I got the picture.

Lately, I've seen a lot of posts social media that focus more on discrediting others than sharing original ideas. These posts tear other people down for their thoughts and opinions.

The problem with this approach is it tells me nothing about the person doing the posting. It only tells me what they dislike about someone else.

Leaders waste precious energy when they use their voice as a megaphone for criticism. Real influence comes when we articulate what we stand for, not just what we stand against. That’s where inspiration and cohesion take root.

Have you noticed how some folks are "job hugging"?

It’s like “tree hugging,” but instead of wrapping arms around a mighty oak, people are clinging tightly to their current role, hoping if they hold on long enough, they won’t get swept up in layoffs, restructuring, or the AI revolution.

What is Job Hugging?

Job hugging is the act of clinging to one's current role out of fear, uncertainty, or a perceived lack of alternatives. It's a defensive posture where employees remain in positions that may no longer align with their passions or career goals, simply to avoid the perceived risks associated with change.

Innovation is the shiny object every organizational leader wants to wave around.

But what happens when leaders confuse technological progress with cultural progress?

Case in point: AT&T’s CEO, John Stankey. His 2,500-word memo recently went viral, not for its vision of the future but for its conditions of belonging. The message to employees was clear:

• You’ll get tools, structure, and opportunity.
• But don’t expect loyalty, flexibility, or advancement without constant proof of value.
• And if that doesn’t work for you, maybe you’re in the wrong place.

This directive signals a bigger problem... some leaders are betting they can adopt artificial intelligence while ignoring the real intelligence that drives culture. The people.

Have you ever seen a leader react to one person’s mistake by rewriting the entire rulebook?

Suddenly everyone has to follow a new process, add an extra approval step, or jump through hoops that didn’t exist yesterday. The team gets frustrated, productivity slows, and resentment grows... not because the process was broken, but because one person didn’t hold up their end.

That’s the leadership equivalent of staring at the tip of an iceberg. What you see above the surface feels like the problem, but the real mass lies hidden below. When leaders only react to what’s visible, they miss the root cause and make everyone suffer for what is often a single behavioral issue.

Avoid creating new processes instead of dealing with underperforming behaviors.

Cohesive leaders know the difference between a process problem and a people problem, and they have the courage to address what’s really below the surface.