Leadership is measured by the depth of our connections, not the bullet points on a resume.

Throughout my career, I’ve found that lasting professional bonds are never built on a zip code or the type of car someone drives. Instead, relationships flourish when we stop collecting surface-level data and start seeking the personal insights and passions that fuel a person’s spirit.

In our recent conversation on the UH-OH Conversations with Cohesive Leaders podcast with Eugene Manley, Jr., PhD, we saw the power of this approach in action. Eugene is a mechanical engineer and a PhD, but if Ben-Jamin Toy, HSG had stayed in the realm of curious questions, we would have only heard his professional credentials. By asking Intentional Questions—the need to know inquiries that spark self-discovery—Ben uncovered the true fuel behind his passion.

Curious vs. Intentional: What’s the Difference?

To build a Cohesion Culture™, you must move the conversation forward. Cohesive leaders rely on intentionality because it reduces ambiguity and builds a foundation of trust.

• Curious Questions (Nice to know): These often keep the progress stagnant. They are transactional and data-focused.
• Intentional Questions (Need to know): These move a conversation forward by revealing what makes a person look forward to another day and how they handle the pressure of an UH-OH moment.

Connection Before Content

As I often say, we must establish Connections Before Content. When we ask people to share personal insights, we build rapport that can withstand the storms of business and life.

Eugene’s story is a great lesson in this. He faced a year of physical injury and personal loss that could have derailed his mission. Because he operates with an intentional mindset, he was able to pivot and launch Innovation for Impact. Eugene shared what fuels his passion to keep going even after great loss. That is a connection that goes far deeper than a job title.

Want to hear how intentionality helped Eugene Manley Jr. navigate his biggest UH-OH? Catch the latest episode of the UH-OH Conversations with Cohesive Leaders podcast here: Spotify | Apple Podcast | YouTube

The Cohesive Leader’s Toolkit: 3 Questions to Ask Today

If you want to move beyond the surface and build lasting relationships with your team or partners, try replacing "nice to know" questions with these intentional ones in your next 1:1:

1. "What is currently fueling your passion for this project?"
2. "What makes you look forward to starting another day?"
3. "What do you need to feel fully included and heard in our circle?"

When we ask the right questions, we get an infusion of cohesion.

This week, skip the small talk. Ask one person an intentional question and watch how the relationship moves forward.