Most leaders are trying to steer the ship by moving the ice, but they forget that the collision happens beneath the surface.

A few months back, I shared about the Iceberg Principle, specifically, how dangerous it is to rewrite the entire rulebook just because one person made a mistake. We discussed how The Cohesive Leader has the courage to address the individual behavior below the surface rather than punishing the whole team with unnecessary processes.

But what happens when the iceberg you’re navigating is yourself?

In a previous episode of UH-OH Conversations with Cohesive Leaders, our guest Matan Cohen-Citron, a movement expert and hypnotist, took our iceberg metaphor to a deeper, more personal level. [Click here to listen to the full episode and learn how Matan transformed a near-death UH-OH moment into a masterclass on somatic leadership.]

The Personal Iceberg: Beyond the Professional Persona

Matan reminded us that the same principle applies to our own lives. We often present a "Professional Persona" (the visible tip) that looks successful, composed, and driven. But underneath the waterline lies our Value System, ie our health, our family, and our internal sense of safety.

In our Cohesion Culture™ programs, we often discuss the relationship between behavior and the internal self. As you can see in the graphic below, the part of ourselves we share with the world is just the tip of the iceberg:

• The Conscious (The Tip): This is where our everyday thoughts and visible behaviors live.
• The Preconscious & Ego: This is the "Waterline." The Ego balances our external reality with our internal drives. When this balance shifts, we experience misalignment.
• The Unconscious (The Base): This is where the Id (our primal drives) and the Superego (our internal moral compass and values) reside.

Matan shared an UH-OH moment where his Conscious "persona" was performing well in business, but his Unconscious needs, ie his health and his core family values, were being completely neglected. He was ignoring his body’s stress signals until a near-death experience forced a total collapse.

He wasn't only managing a behavioral problem at the tip; he was ignoring a deep conflict in his Unconscious base.

So What for Leaders?

In our previous discussion, some leaders self professed that it’s safer to tinker with systems than to confront a team member's behavior. The same is true for self-leadership: It is often safer to stay busy with business tasks than to confront our own internal misalignment.

If you are coaching your team to be accountable, but you aren't listening to your own internal UH-OH signals—the burnout, the lack of presence at home, the physical toll of stress—you are navigating toward a collision.

Cohesive leadership starts with the courage to look at your own base.

Cohesion Challenge

Last time, I asked if you were solving a process problem or a people problem. This week, let's make it personal. Look at your own "Personal Iceberg" and ask:

"Is my Conscious behavior at the tip actually supported by my Unconscious values at the base, or am I just maintaining a persona at the surface?"

Cohesion begins within. When your internal values and external actions align, you don't just lead better. You live better.