The Silent Habit That Derails Leaders
Ever watched someone sabotage their own leadership in real time? I have and it all comes down to a sneaky habit called side-mouthing.
I was reminded of it during a recent conversation with a guest on our UH-OH Conversations with Cohesive Leaders podcast (that episode drops in February 2026). Something our guest said snapped me right back to a story from Becoming a Cohesive Leader, and it’s one worth revisiting.
If you’ve never heard the phrase side-mouthing, don’t worry. You’ve definitely seen the behavior.
It’s what happens when someone gets so locked in on the negative that they lose the plot. They can’t see possibilities, opportunities, or solutions… they can only broadcast what’s wrong. And when that mindset takes over, they’re not contributing to the change. They’re fueling resistance.
Today’s podcast conversation centered on the same theme: Mindset is everything. If you don’t catch your negative thoughts early, the mental ANTs that crawl in, you end up amplifying the very thing you say you don’t want.
And that brings us to my story.
The Lesson: From Training Specialist to C-Suite
I can remember a time when I served as a training specialist within a large multi-billion dollar company. My role was primarily to write sales training, yet I had been in other areas of management prior to this role and understood how other areas of the company operated. At a full-employee company meeting, senior leadership announced a change in operations and organizational structure. I heard many of my colleagues processing the information inwardly and filtering it through a negative lens. They were muttering amongst themselves and trying to figure out how this new reporting structure impacted them and their silo.
Yes, I will shamefully admit I fell into the same trap. Fortunately for me, I had a great mentor who took me aside and told me how he had watched the reactions of those in the meeting. Here is a paraphrased version of what I have come to realize was some really great advice:
When hearing a corporate-initiated change, or any change for that matter, especially for the first time, nod your head up and down to show you are following along, make eye contact from time to time, and smile. Give your full attention to the speaker and never, I mean never ever, look at the person next to you and speak out of the side of your mouth.
That was the day I learned the value of enterprise-wide thinking. My mentor was helping me separate myself from the pack. Leaders embrace change. They recognize it is a matter of process, growth, and development. My mentor helped me realize that it was okay to think about how the change impacted me (my silo) but that my ability to focus on how to make it work rather than dwelling on what’s wrong would train my thinking to look at the bigger picture.
I found that when I consistently applied his suggestion and started asking open-ended, non-leading questions that helped the organizational leader further communicate the “why” behind the change, I was seen in a positive light by management. I was not a “yes man” who blindly told the boss what they might want to hear. I was a “yes” thinker, putting my emphasis on making it happen, not tearing it apart.
Let me assure you of one thing: I do not think my advancement from training specialist to chief strategy officer would have happened if I had kept focusing my thoughts inwardly. If I continued to express my negative thoughts (regardless of how valid they may have been), that would have been a deal-breaker for me earning an upward-level management position. It was when I began to open my mind and think broadly across the organization, share my thoughts on how other areas of the organization might be impacted by the change, and consider the type of leadership role I could play in the change that my career trajectory began heading upward to the altitude of C-suite with a seat at the executive table.
Why This Still Matters Today
Negativity gets a head start. It always does. If you don’t catch it early, it becomes the microphone for your thoughts and everyone around you hears the broadcast.
In psychology these are called ANTs: Automatic Negative Thoughts. If you don’t squash them, they multiply.
And multiplied negativity is leadership kryptonite.
Today’s workplace demands leaders who can zoom out, regulate their thoughts, and respond with clarity instead of commentary. The leaders who rise are the ones who manage their mindset first.
Your 1-2-3 to Stop Side-Mouthing Before It Starts
Want to nix the habit before it derails you or your team? Here’s a simple structure to try:
1. Catch the ANT
Notice the negative thought the moment it crawls in. Awareness is your first line of defense.
2. Zoom Out
Shift from silo-thinking to enterprise-wide thinking. Ask: “How does this affect more than just me?”
3. Ask Forward-Moving Questions
Lean into intentionality instead of commentary. Seek out the “why,” the context, and the opportunities hidden in the change.
This transforms you from a passive critic into an active contributor.
Side-mouthing looks harmless in the moment. It isn’t.
It’s the quiet habit that signals insecurity, short-term thinking, and resistance to growth. And it limits careers far faster than people realize.
Leadership requires mental discipline. It requires perspective. It requires the courage to see beyond your own silo.
Control your thoughts. Control your influence. Control your trajectory.
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For more insight on this topic, please refer to these blog posts:
- How can AI help relieve burnout?
- You can’t AI your way out of a toxic culture.
- The New Rules of Team Cohesion and Innovation
Interested in reading more from Dr. Troy Hall? Check out my books available for purchase on Amazon.
