Curiosity is Fun. Intentionality is Productive. Leaders Need Both.

You know those friendly hallway greetings by the water cooler that somehow turn into a person's life history? It starts with a quick hello and suddenly you are twenty minutes into talking about childhood pets, favorite pizza toppings, and whether llamas are superior to alpacas.

Fun, but also a time thief.

One training client recently discovered in their leadership assessment that their strength in social connection was double edged. They were curious. They cared. They were also unintentionally derailing their productivity. Their conversations were open, but not moving anyone forward. They were excessively socializing.

Curiosity builds relationships, yet without intentionality it stalls progress. The shift is not to stop asking questions. The shift is to ask questions that matter to the moment.

CURIOUS QUESTIONS

What is your favorite color? How many children do you have? Where else have you lived?

Warm. Relational. Just not actionable if the goal is collaborative progress.

INTENTIONAL QUESTIONS

I have an idea brewing and I would love your input. If you were running this, what would you do? What solution would you try first?

Now we are moving. You engage their mind. You signal trust. You invite belonging. When leaders ask for ideas, they are essentially saying, You matter. Your voice has weight here. Belonging rises. Commitment deepens.

People are loyal to what they help create. The fastest route to employee retention is participation.

The FORD Method

When building rapport with team members or clients, guide your questions through these four lanes:

F Family

O Occupation

R Recreation

D Dreams or Goals

FORD questions help leaders build connection without wandering into conversational rabbit holes. The magic is in the intentional angle.

Example

Family question with curiosity: Are you married? Family question with intention: Tell me about your immediate family.

Same topic. Different impact. One feels like a form. The other feels like a conversation.

In sales this is the difference between collecting data and understanding a decision maker.

For instance, a salesperson who knows a buyer consults their spouse before making decisions will interact differently than a salesperson who assumes it’s every person for themselves. Knowing the difference between the impact of emotion and facts can change the timing and trajectory of getting to the close of a sales conversation.

Two Questions That Reveal Buying Behavior

Our Cohesive Sales Approach sales program trains leaders to uncover the buying mind without prying. Two simple questions unlock everything.

1. Do you usually make decisions quickly or do you like time to think on them?
2. Are you influenced more by emotions or facts?

With those two answers the astute salesperson can find the decision pattern faster than most high priced sales scripts.

Our sales process consistently outperforms five nationally popular programs in the areas of inquiry, product presentation and closing techniques. It is unique because it blends connection with strategy. We teach leaders not just to ask curious questions but to ask those that move the conversation forward and empowers the buyer with choices.

A Simple Leadership Reminder

Curiosity builds comfort. Intentionality builds momentum. Leadership thrives where the two meet.

This week, challenge yourself to shift one conversation from curious to intentional. Ask a question that moves an idea forward. Invite a coworker into the process. Watch how quickly belonging begins to bloom.

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For more insight on this topic, please refer to these blog posts:

• The Silent Habit That Derails Leaders
• You can’t AI your way out of a toxic culture.
• The New Rules of Team Cohesion and Innovation

Interested in reading more from Dr. Troy Hall? Check out my books available for purchase on Amazon.