I can remember a time where a colleague or team member completely pushed back against my direction.

There was a conversation that I didn’t think went well and reached out to confirm if everything is okay. I didn’t hear back, so I waited. More time passed and still no reassurance things are fine.

Now, my mind goes crazy and makes up all sorts of storylines, none of which have a positive or happy ending.

When things go wrong or friction arises in the workplace, it is easy to jump to negative conclusions — take it personally, assume others are being difficult, or view it as an act of insubordination.

But what I learned was to pause and make a charitable assumption instead.

The charitable assumption is the practice of generously giving others the benefit of the doubt by assuming their intentions are good, even when their actions or words suggest otherwise. It is a conscious choice to prioritize empathy, understanding, and curiosity over immediate accusation.

David Petrash’s UH-OH Moment

On the latest episode of the UH-OH Conversations with Cohesive Leaders podcast, our guest David Petrash shared an incredible UH-OH moment from early in his career that illustrates what happens when we stop making assumptions and start practicing curiosity.

Fresh out of the Navy as a 28-year-old nuclear engineer, David took over as a power plant manager. Eager to succeed, he stepped into the role by dictating exactly how his veteran team should execute their daily tasks.

Inevitably, he met massive friction. A 50-year-old veteran worker, who had successfully run the plant for decades, pulled David aside and flatly told him that he didn't need a boss to tell him how to do things. He needed a leader to remove roadblocks and provide resources.

David’s immediate UH-OH moment cost him some pride, but it led to a massive AHA breakthrough because he leaned into the core principles of the charitable assumption:

• He Separated the Action from Character: He realized the veteran worker and the team wasn't failing or pushing back out of malice or laziness. They genuinely cared about the plant's success, but wasn’t clear how to say it.
• He Replaced Accusation with Intentional Curiosity: David called a meeting and asked his team two open-ended vital questions: "What is keeping you from performing your job to the best of your ability?" and "What resource do you currently not have?"
• He Discovered a Lack of Clarity: By shifting to intentional curiosity, David discovered that people weren't failing on purpose. They often just lacked clarity on what was expected of them. And, they needed time to process a change in leadership.

By extending a charitable assumption to his team, David transformed a tense standoff into a highly functional, trusting, and cohesive workplace culture. Beyond his corporate career, David has applied these same impact-driven principles of faith, service, and integrity to his work in the ministry and as an author. Hear our whole conversation on the podcast: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | YouTube

Lead with a Charitable Assumption

Building a cohesive culture requires us to stop taking other people's bad days or sharp pushback personally. Here is how you can put this into practice on your team:

1. Presume Positive Intent: Operate on the belief that your colleagues are generally doing the best they can with the tools and information they have. Trust them to tell the truth and perform their jobs to the best of their ability.
2. Ask, Don't Accuse: If a coworker misses a deadline or sounds curt in an email, don't assume they are disrespecting you. Reach out with intentional curiosity: "Hey, noticed we missed the mark on this. What do you need to be successful? "
3. Focus on Tools, Not Rules: Like David learned, your team usually doesn't need you to micromanage their process. They need you to give them clarity, assess their competency, and then clear the path so they can succeed.

When we give others the grace of a charitable assumption, we reduce unnecessary conflict and lay the groundwork for organizational cohesion.

What about you? Have you ever assumed the worst in a workplace situation, only to find out there was a completely different story beneath the surface?